


Healing Faith

by Sybilina



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, BDSM, Bathing/Washing, D/s, F/F, Gags, Light Bondage, Massage, Sensory Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-03 01:09:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2832695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sybilina/pseuds/Sybilina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You want to do this?  You and me, here and now?"  Buffy slams the door behind her and Faith barely manages not to jump.  "Fine, let's do this.  Prove to me you're serious.  Kneel."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Healing Faith

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for season four Buffy, season one Angel. Kind of vague timeline, really. Could be set after season seven, though honestly, I see it more as a scene set somewhere between season four and season six.

Buffy is standing with her arms crossed opposite Faith, her eyes hard and cold, for all her short stature looking like an angry queen, or more accurately an angry goddess, an angry goddess with all her attention on Faith. 

Faith slowly, slowly sinks to her knees, slayer abilities all but forgotten as she practically slams into the ground, unbalanced, hard enough Buffy winces for her poor knees, and Faith is reaching out to steady herself lest she topple over as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

And Buffy stares at her, eyes no longer cold, not even remotely angry, softer than Faith has ever seen them, directed at her at least, so soft Faith has to look away because how could she deserve that from someone she's hurt so much. But Buffy is looking at her and she feels it and Buffy says, “We don't have to do this.”

Faith says, “I know. I want to.”

“You need it,” Buffy says but it's so soft so caring that Faith ducks her head before nodding.

Buffy proceeds to tell her exactly what's going to happen. She's going to tie her up, she's going to blindfold her, gag her, and then

She stops talking because they both know Faith doesn't want to know and because Faith has already tensed up.

Buffy makes her look her in the eye with a soft touch to her cheek, suggesting but not demanding, and Faith is suddenly a little angry at that. She wants the pain, wants the hurt, wants something more, or maybe something less, than this gentle Buffy she doesn't think she deserves.  
  
Buffy goes over the safe words with her, the traffic light system when she can speak and a little bell ball for when she is gagged and restrained, and Faith makes a face and says, “I've never used a safe word before, B,” and she's about to go on, about to tell Buffy she trusts her, that whatever she does is okay because she deserves it. Buffy stops her with another gentle touch to her lips and Faith swallows her words, hard.

“You've been doing it wrong, then.”

And they both wince. Because Faith has tasted that word so many times on the lips of guys, the tongues of girls, she's felt it whip her from across the way, sometimes intentionally loud for her to hear, sometimes soft as if it's a secret but she heard anyway. Any synonym of the word has been applied to her, by her, in dark sleepless nights, in the light, in every waking moment. She remembers tasting it with Buffy's lips like it could mean something different coming from her but it was still Faith and even though she'd been in Buffy's body, she kept seeing her own face.

Buffy stops her line of thinking with a tap to the nose and says, “You're not wrong. This isn't wrong.” And probably because she knows Faith well enough by now to know she's going to argue that to the moon and back, she wraps a gag around her head, slips the ball into Faith's waiting mouth, and palms the plastic toy into Faith's hands, shaking it with her to test it.

Faith glares at Buffy but they both know it lacks heat. Already, Faith is sinking into a headspace she's never felt before, a kind of serenity and calm, and Buffy is smiling at her and it just makes her sink more.

Buffy starts stripping her and it should feel weird, she should feel self conscious, but she doesn't not until she's completely naked and the blindfold slips on, followed quickly by the cuffs, soft leather that holds her wrists firm. Buffy knows if they'd tried rope, Faith would chafe them intentionally just to feel the burn.

If Faith feels any pain tonight, Buffy will be the one inflicting it.

But that's not her intention and they both know it but Faith keeps trying to convince herself the soft act is going to fall fast and soon but something about the blindfold makes it easier to accept like if she doesn't have to see the soft eyes and the smile, then it's okay. Then Buffy slips some ear plugs in and Faith feels like she's falling hard and fast and slow and all at once and Buffy is gripping her hand gently as if Faith is going to tap out at any moment. But she doesn't.

Buffy picks her up and carries her to the bathroom which Faith can only tell from the smell, of perfume and soap, and the way she's settled into the bath, warm water but jarring and she starts to shiver as Buffy begins to bathe her.

It's weird letting someone bathe her when she can't help, can't talk, can't retaliate. Every time she's ever felt something feel so good, she's always had to break the mood with a joke. But Buffy won't let her and it's freeing how being so bound makes her feel.

By the time Buffy has her dried and on her bed, Faith's floating, no longer jumping, no longer shivering though her skin is tingling, similar to her brain which is humming, and she doesn't want it to stop, never wants to lose this feeling. Then Buffy's hands are on her, cool lotion spread across her back, her face pressed flush against the bedspread and Buffy uncuffs her, puts her arms where she wants them with a gentle push every time they're settled as a silent 'stay put' and Faith doesn't even think about disobeying.

Ball still gripped in her hand but now she can relax it knowing it won't fall to the ground and Buffy is shoving into her back, the roughness finally coming out but it's in the gentlest way because Faith has the hardest of knots and it doesn't take long before she's moaning, a soft rumbling echoing through her head.

Then Buffy's hand is roaming between her legs and she shifts to try to accommodate but Buffy puts a hand on her lower back, commanding her to stay still and just take it, and it feels so weird not returning the gesture, not helping out, not being able to direct and encourage. And it's hotter than any sex or heavy petting she's ever participated in, it's better than sex, better than anything, and Faith doesn't even want to have the orgasm, she just wants to ride this high as long as possible, never wants to get control back because Buffy is so good at this.

It doesn't take long before she's gasping into the bedspread, her mouth already an O around the ball gag which is dripping with saliva and it should be uncomfortable but it's not, and sound leaks in slowly so she knows Buffy took the ear plugs out and she's whispering sweet nothings in her ear, except they're not nothings, they're everythings, they're words she's spoken and sometimes heard but never believed, not about her or when she'd said them to others. But she feels a warmth spread throughout her stomach because Buffy doesn't lie to her, not when the fate of the world isn't hanging in the balance, anyway. Buffy doesn't lie to her and she knows it like she knows the feel of a stake in her hand, and she believes her, drinking in every single word she says like she's starving.

Buffy turns her over wiping the saliva away with one hand and the tears with her lips, and she maneuvers them easily so Buffy's reclining against the headboard and Faith's tucked under her chin. And it's like that time she lost it with Angel, the tears, the sobbing, the breaking to pieces, but this is different, bigger and smaller, more intense, more final, and she clings to Buffy every time she moves, terrified she's going to get up and leave her like everyone else ever has. But when Buffy says, “Shh. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere,” she believes her. And she wonders if this is what healing feels like.

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of wanted this to be longer but after rewriting it and rereading it, I don't think I could have maintained the mood and the tone for much longer. And that was what I liked most about this story.
> 
> If I forgot to tag anything, don't hesitate to tell me. Also, there will be more.


End file.
